it is strange to think, i haven't seen you since a month. i have seen the new moon, but not you. i have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. the pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. i miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to. hope guides me, that is what gets me through the day and the night. the hope that after your gone from my sight, it will not be the last time that i look upon you.

my take on last night's singapore idol: results show


'nuff said.. i've got nothing to say!!! i told you the bengs and lians are bigger threats than the terrorist!

after watching last night's episode of singapore idol... i came to the conclusion that sylvester sim really wanted to get kicked out.. maybe he was having a jasmine trias/john stevens syndrome. i don't understand his song choices and the weird get up! and dun get me started on the diction part. goodness, it was like wacthing a rhino giving birth - excrutiatingly painful and undoubtably pitchy! gosh. i feel sorry for him. then again, he can't be blamed. i mean he's up against two incredible singers. ok maybe 'incredible' is tat bit pushing it.. but taufik and olinda are good!

taufik is da bomb! his rendition and performance of ain't no sunshine was tremendoursly amazing! well emoted, excellently executed and smooth vocals! all his 3 songs were great. it was like watching kelly clarkson on american idol 1 when she sang think twice, without you and walk on by! it was a hatrick (i stole this from florence.. i've no idea wot it meant! haha) and an unforgettable one. there ain't no sunshine if taufik don't make it to the finals. (we should all conspire to round up all the bengs & lians and bomb them! they're a bigger threat than the terrorists!)

olinda is consistently good with power vocals. although, i must say, i hated her rendition of hopelessly devoted to you. totally spoilt one of me favourite movie songs! her performance last night was mediocre. but i guess she can do that cos she knows she'll go to the finals. then again, who knows! anything is possible. neither taufik nor oli can be guaranteed a spot.. i mean of course between them one will be guaranteed. but it should be both up on stage for the finals. that's what you call a great competition. i mean if you pit sly against oli or taufik.. wot's there to watch. it won't be any good cos you know who's the better singer, performer and who singapore will vote for (sly) which thus makes it an embarrasament rather than somethin to be proud of. i've nothing against sly but ah-puh-leez he doesn't stand a chance to bring fame to singapore. he should go to chinese music! i'll buy his albums.. it'll be like syz - male version! haha.

so tonight we shall see if de singaporean crowd will geef sly a kiiiss and vote him into the finals.. or if they come to their senses and actually votes both oli and taufik in.. we all know who's the more deserving ones!

i believe the first time i saw snow was around this time late november/early december.. in new york. i was was nine. we were in the Waldorf-Astoria and i woke up with a tingling feeling in my bladder. hah. my mother told me, when i was younger that i usually wake up pretty early in the morning just to pee and go back to bed. but this time was different. i rose, went about my daily childhood routine and as i walked towards my bed, i glanced out of the window. i stood there dumbfounded. there it was, blanketing the streets of new york, stretching out endlessly like sparkling diamonds at Tiffany's & 20 storeys beneath me - snow! i must have stood there for a long time and when i got myself together, i squeeled in glee.. screaming as i woke my brothers and parents up.. i remember rushing to put on our coats and running down the cream coloured hallways. mom screaming at the back for us to watch out for the side tables and the huge flower vases. as we pushed through the revolving door, a cold gush of wind greeted me, grazed my cheeks. that was an unforgettable moment. i distinctly remember getting hit by snowballs thrown by my brother. i remember taking a scoop of snow and putting it in mouth, despite my mom's constant reminder that it was unhealthy. but i couldn't care less. i mean. that was snow! i wanted to know how it feels, how it taste, how it smelled. much like ice kacang, as i experienced it firsthand, only with a tinge of street taste. haha! the horrified look on my mom's face as i stuffed snow in my mouth was hilarious.

i miss those times. i miss being a child without a care in the world. where the only responsibility i had was to have fun. i'm still doing that now, though less care free. in two months time i'll be leaving teen-hood. it's unnerving to come to the realisation that suddeny, i'm growing older. i have to be responsible for my own actions. no more being a nine-teen year old. no more teen, i'll soon be in my twenties!

i yearn for my youth, my childhood. i yearn the feeling i had the first time i saw snow. i yearn the life i had back in the day. now everything's like a beautiful dream. vividly emblazing in my mind. my solace from the world today. i guess as we grow older, we learn things little ones shouldn't know. tainted and jaded by wot i've learnt and known so far, i wish for my innocence, i long for the times when the only thing i knew how to do - and i did it good cos it always works- was to sulk and whine when i didn't get wot i wanted. but i guess, if i didn't learn or know all the things i learnt and known, i wouldn't be the me that i am. then again, there's always a part of me yearning to bring out the child in me!

gosh... i sound so old. haha.