disclaimer: i did not buy the album. i downloaded it! am not a britney fan, though occassionally, i do find her rather intriguing (tell me which red-blooded male don't? even your dogs do!). and this is as close t the album's honest review as you can get!

Britney Spears
"In The Zone"

despite releasing a bevy of albums after her 1999 debut album, "...Baby One More Time," it's been hard to shake off that inaugural image of Britney Spears slutting it up in a Catholic school girl uniform. fortunately -- or perhaps disturbingly -- "In The Zone" presents Ms. Spears outside of her plaid skirt and into something a little more kinky. namely, masturbation.

that's right, kids. "Touch Of My Hand" -- unarguably the most sensual track on this pop-tart's latest album -- is all about Britney being caught red-handed (or perhaps red-dildoed?) in a self-indulgent reverie. one can only imagine the brainstorming session that took place between an apparently horned-up Spears and the three other writers who penned the song. though it's an exquisitely produced track, the entire album is a clear indictment of one fact: Britney needs to get laid. and fast!

OK, so perhaps recording a song devoted entirely to "clicking the mouse" is going a step too far -- but who on the world is honestly satisfied with his or her sex life? the degree to which this world will relate to "In The Zone" is truly astounding. take, for instance, the track "Early Mornin'," on which Britney laments a misconceived drunken hookup. "Got drunk 'til the break of dawn, hooked up with a guy named Joe, passed out on the couch," she sings, almost matter-of-factly. (and cue for those who actually did get piss drunk met a guy and fell asleep on his couch!)

once interesting only to high school girls and -- secretly -- your dad, Britney Spears has finally produced an album that any sexually active, vaguely alcoholic college student can relate to. she might as well get it over with and join a slutty sorority (which i'm having doubts that isn't already a member!).

all in all. dun buy the album, unless of course you are a britney fan. then you might probably hate me for writing this and downloading her album instead of buying it. don't bring the crucifix to my face. i don't crumble!

i wonder what it is with us guys and insecurities. when you date someone beyond your league. a beauty by all standards. as she glides gracefully by. fly like an angel and dance like the wind. when she moves, all eyes are on her. we tend to get rather protective. we begin a battle with our internal self. fighting this feeling. trying to prevent this minial problem we have from overcoming the relationship. we tell ourselves, "it's not their fault, they're beautiful" and we know that we cannot prevent other people from worshipping them like goddesses. and yet we find ourselves in this connundrum, or rather a cul-de-sac. we can't help it but to feel frustrated that other guys just can't keep their smooth-talking ditties to themselves or to some other unattached women. it's a normal thing to feel. a little protective is good. but before you know it, the feeling envelopes us, drowning us. and then we begin fighting. it's no one's fault really. just that things starts to get out of hand. it's not that we want to fight. we're helpless in this situation.

yet we have to try not to be the complete jackass that we are. we have to realise that, she needs air to breathe and "ain't no way she gon' do that with me hovering above her like a vulture on a dying mammal". sometimes you gotta just abandon the feelings, the uneasiness, the frustrations and just put your whole trust in the relationship that which you have created. you knew what you've got yourelf into when you started this relationship, so deal with it! dun go be acting like some over-proctective child over his new toy. grow up. embrace the fact that you are dating that beauty that people are staring at. merely staring. why worry? you know she loves you. and she knows it too.

i'm not sure what this post is getting at or that the intended reader shud be reading this - or ever will. but something my junior said on the ride home yesterday triggered this entry.

life is a journey, you can't possibly be experiencing eveything in on ride. pick the broken pieces, mend it and start a new. you know what's the problem now, so go deal with it!