alright... today is THE DAY. release of results!! hahaha.. i'm quite glad. my juniors did pretty well. nonis got 9, which i thought was excellent! he's choosing to go to vjc to join his nicole. however, i'm not sure he can get in. but i tink he'll put tj as 2nd choice. mark and omar got 10! yesh! my o level score! hahah.. which is good. ummm.. mark still wanna go to vj. he does not want to come to tj claiming that it's too far. what the hell?? vj and tj are not miles apart! what i'm really peeved at is nicholas! getting 14 points!! well i'm not upset about that. i knoe he tried his best. i'm super upset that he got C6 for literature! how the hell is that possible! that's the only thing that i pushed hard on him to study for! i'm still v. upset. ARGH! but overall, i'm ok.. eugene and marcus got 8/7 respectively. which is good! smart boys i tell you and they plan to stay in tj! wow! i'm not sure why they are doing that.. but it's good... at least i'm not alone in this otherwise alien world.

dun start jumping off your seats people. life wit all of you has been the ultimate fun! could never survive without the presence of the vases.. and not forgetting the extended vases. haha.. but tj culture was and still is a difficult thing to grasp and adapt to. but i'm getting more comfortable by the day.

wait i didn't write it here right? the past week i've been wearing glasses! i hate wearing them. the only reason why i am is because my cornea is infected. apparently i wore it for too long hours so oxygen can't get through! sigh. i can't stare into brightspace. eyes will begin to tear! i can't look at the OHP screen for too long. eyes will tear. i can't even read scores! eyes will tear. and the notes looked rather small! so i'm not going for band tomorrow. no point. i'll be wasting my time! ok. time out!

"And when its time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep us safe and warm
And I know we will survive"
~ R. Kelly & Celine Dion

Sometimes I wonder where I've been,
Who I am,
Do I fit in.
Make believein' is hard alone,
Out here on my own.

We're always provin' who we are,
Always reachin'
For that risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home.

Out here on my own.

Until the morning sun appears
Making light
Of all my fears,
I dry the tears
I've never shown.

Out here on my own.

ok.. my archives a bit of a whack! so basically.. no archives at all! haha!

hmmm. rite let's begin. the past 2 days' been rather screwed up. i hate miss lim! yesh, my frens, it's official. she's the epitome of all that is stupid. dumb. biased. arse. and everything else you can think of! i might use the word B-I-T-C-H. but she ain't worth it! she keeps on comparing us to like the rest of the gawd-damn world! it's getting very annoying. i dun think she realised how much the class really cannot stand her! it's like she's in class only to tell us that there are other people better than us and WE SUX! fuck you whore! i really cannot stand her. she compares us to like her science classes and claims that we are a disappointment to the Arts Faculty! what a fucking retard! excuse the language. i can't help myself. in any case, she claimed that we are not studying enuff. actually she's claiming that we are not carrying books around and reading our notes every possible chance we have. who does she take us for? nerds?! intentions may be well. but what the hell is her problem! she have yet to be with us for one year and she's bitching! what makes she think she knows us so well? i'm telling you, if not for the fact that she's writing my testimonials at the end of the year, i would have gone up to her face, flick both my middle fingers out and spit out "fuck you bitch!who the hell d'ya tink u are?". seriously. she's just getting on my nerves! you know, miss leong makes a better teacher and i'd kill for her to write my testimonials than that anal retentive hag! ARGH! ms lim is always condemning us! i hat ethat really! she dun accept our ideas. doesn't even consider it! we're not science students. we dun lyk to follow structural approach to things. we are creative bunch of rebels and we think outside our box! it's irritating!! argh!!!

moving on from that. Lit was super interesting! we danced!! hahaha never thot i'd see that in Lit class.. but it's about experience and learning thru unconventional means. i got to dance with the gals. cool! hahaha.. little perv i've become! actually all the guys got to dance with the gals.. they just made us stand there and made the gals rotate around us.. hahaha.. felt like some high school dream jock or something! hahah. the dance, scotch jig, is actually about relationship, love etc in victorian times.. or rather in much ado about nothing. v. interesting! i like the idea of the dance! debbie was not bad at it, tho she claimed to be having two left feet! haha. rose was alrite too. sharon, not too bad gal! haha. Alexis was darn cute! and sandy just looked divine that day! v pretty! oh ms loong was good!! hahaha she was like prancing around. almost like a small gal! haha.

speaking of dance. rehearsal on monday sucks big time! i got scolded almost everytime!

Zaki: rohai, you're off timing
Zaki: rohai, it's a simple step. please lah! what's wrong with you?
Zaki: Rohai!!! technique! how do you do the altitude?
Zaki: ROHAI!!! pique!!! step out! what are you doing? can u end up in the same line?

argh!!! i was freaking upset!! i dunno what to do really! i have to practiceand practice and practice!! my altitude sucks! and pique.. i use to be better!! what the hell!!!!

"I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
on my own, and i know
that i'm strong enough to mend"
~ Mariah Carey

haha.. sharon is quoting one of my "songs of the moment" favs! i dunno.. it's v . depressing. but i can't help it. i'm a sucker for such things! go to her diaryland and find out.
anyway, sharon. how come u refuse to tell me what's goin on. it's like i know you are pissed abt something. i can feel it. we've been frens since foreva. ok not reallie. but we're all v close. why can't u just tell me? i know u feel like as tho' you and momo are just accompaniments to The Vases. but seriously, u all aren't. so many times that i wanted you to get involved. remember we asked u to sing "Standing Still"? ah forget it. i hope we can work it out ok. dun get to frustrated about it. i dunno. sigh. going!

ok.. was reading Eng Tat's blog.. reallie brave the guy.. hmmm.. dun worry things will work out..
hmmm.. i've never reallie talked about my most inner feelings.. i guess bcos it's bcos i realise people are reading this blog. hmmm.. but what the hell rite? it's my journal, so basically it's what i'm feeling.. ok, here goes..

i know that you know how i feel about you.. from the bottom of my heart, i dun expect anything. the feeling i have, i dun understand. why is it u that i've fallen. i know that we are not meant to be and i've accepted it long ago. but seriously, i just feel for you. i just dunno why. dun ask me why. honestly, i dun expect you to reciprocate it. just dun shun away from me like as tho' i'm carrying a disease. a disease called love. i dunno why i'm feeling it. many times i wondered and questioned myself. how come it's u that i've fallen. each time, i come to a dead end. a cul-de-sac. i dun want things to be awkward between us. why can't we just be like normal. i know it's somewhat there now. but i feel like there's something pulling us away. i dun expect to receive anything from you. just a token of your friendship is good enuff. i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable when i accidentally smsed you insted of her. but things happened. and i dunno why. i dun have the answers. dun tell me to erase the feelings i have. cos i dunno how to. i'm not sure if i can. all i'm asking for is your friendship and for things to go back to normal. before all the chaos occured. before all the unnecessary calamity happened. i'm sorry for everything. can we start again? we're not close i know. we never were. but there were once when things between us were not heated and not so awkward. let's go back to that. shall we? leave everything behind. start anew. tomorrow's always a new day. glad to know u, reallie. a great fren. very intelligent. i like your views on things. that was the thing that appealed to me abt you. yup. let's be frens once again.


"and if you lose your way
think back on yesterday
remember me this way..
remember me this way."
~Jordan Hill