i'm having a Sharon-syndrome! haha.. i don't want to take the a levels!!!!!! i'm sick and tired of studying.. argh. my head was heavy.. i was sneezing the whole time.. but what was i doin? sitting up on my chair. tucked in to my study table and studying john donne!!! i'm doing history 2 now.. doin source-base read up!!! argh!! it's killing me.. it's like what? 30 odd days to prelims?? i can't take this anymore... i just want to break free... free from the academia-prison...

holland village wasn't making it any better... stupid woman! such a slut! jingjing all the way! okla.. now i sound like i'm mad.. yup that's it! i'm mad.. MAD! gone insame from the constant black dots appearing on a piece of paper forming words. forming sentences. what shit! i just wanna fly..

i wanna fly.. i wanna feel the air rush up in my face as i descend down to the ground.. i want to feel my blood surge up to my head. i want to feel, for that one brief moment before i land, that i'm free.. that i dun have to wake up to this monstrous torture chamber anymore. that i would be free and i dun have to bid by anyones rule.. just be myself. away from all the shit this world is giving me. i just want to go..

"Don't touch me, Rudy"
"But, i love you Max"
"Don't! whatever we do, they will suspect us! If we touch, hug or even look at each other in that way... they'll arrest us!"

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went to watch Bent last night. one of the most captivating and moving play i'v watched. the acting wasn't that stellar, but it's convincing and good! the feeling was intense, the hurt.physicalized. it was one heck of a good show.

yes, it's about homosexuality, but it's also about love, freedom and human rights. seriously, the play got me thinking. dong and i made the best of econs lecture today by discussing the concept of homosexuality and it's place in society. actually, it's the most fun econs lecture ever.. hahaha!

well, homosexuality is a taboo in singapore, yet people seemed to be accepting lesbians and butches more than they do gays. it's funny how people react to such issues. how is it that lesbianism is more accepted than gay-ism when both of them uphold the main idea of homosexuality. dong believes that it's the idea that a gay men has no longer in him the emotions of a man - completely usurpt by the female psyche. on the other hand. a lesbian, as butch as she is, still feels like a woman. also, a female dun reallie have the great responsibility that men do like carrying on the family name. though it is logical and reasonable, i think it's sad if that's the reason why we can't accept gays.

we are born this way, and they are born that way - Mr Goh Chok Tong

ain't that true? being a homosexual, on the whole, is not a choice. sociology books might explain that it's not in their genes to like men but then again.. can we help who we fall in love with? we can't choose who we want to fall in love with. it's just something in our body, heart, mind and soul that tells us how we are to react.

love is a crazy concept. you dun have a choice. you may plan to marry a certain someone but the one you actually end up with may be totally different from what you described initially. how is it then a choice to be a homosexual? staying as one, perhaps, is a choice. but why would you choose otherwise if you are born that way? if you feel as such, why torture yourself to change how you feel? if being homosexual is a choice, wouldn't you think some gays or lesbians would choose to go straight due solely to societal pressures? it's crazy! people dun change cos they are proud of being who they are. it's their identity!

who cares what their lifestyles might be. as long as it's not done in your house, who cares? learn to live with all kinds of people! if you can tolerate people of different races, diffeent religions, why not people of different sexual preferances. go watch Bent.. truly awesome show. made me look at issues like this in a different light.